OKLAHOMA CITIZEN'S PROCLAMATION FOR NOT TAKING SALLY KERN SERIOUSLY
By: Colin Newman
We the People of Oklahoma, Invoking the guidance of basic reason and logic, in order to prevent that vein in our foreheads from popping out; to secure a state government that is merely corrupt rather than criminally insane; to promote our mutual Welfare and Happiness, do establish this proclamation and call upon the people of the great State of Oklahoma, and our fellow Patriots in these United States of America who look to non Gaylord owned media for guidance, to acknowledge the need for Sally Kern to step out of the spotlight for a while and mutter gently to her handgun.
WHEREAS, "It does me no injury for my neighbor to say there are twenty gods or no God. It neither picks my pocket nor breaks my leg. " (Thomas Jefferson); and
WHEREAS, "An alliance or coalition between Government and religion cannot be too carefully guarded against" (James Madison); and
WHEREAS, "Our Religious controversies are always productive of more acrimony and irreconcilable hatreds than those which spring from any other cause." (George Washington); and
WHEREAS, "Quoting a bunch of enlightenment era Deists out of context to make it sound like they support theocracy seems like a bulletproof way to make my point!” (Sally Kern; and
WHEREAS, the people of Oklahoma have a strong tradition of deflating the egos and rhetoric of demagogues and blowhards; and
WHEREAS, we believe our economic woes are consequences of banking deregulation, a massive housing bubble, speculation, and the general never ending economic coke party of the last twenty years, none of which were caused by gay people or abortion or gay people getting abortions, and
WHEREAS, “debauchery” predates the great state of Oklahoma by tens of thousands of years and will be around long after we have retreated to mountain strongholds to avoid the zombie apocalypse; and
WHEREAS, alarmed that there are still people who think theocracy is a good idea; and
WHEREAS, grieved that people such as Sally Kern emerge every couple of months to insult my intelligence and lecture me; and
WHEREAS, deeply disturbed that Sally is still so angry even given the quite generous senior citizens discount offered at Hometown Buffet;
NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that we the undersigned snarky bastards, appealing to the basic decency and reasonableness of our fellow citizens, solemnly declare that the HOPE of the great State of Oklahoma and of these United States, rests upon politicians and civil servants who care more about their constituents than about the 15 or so votes to be gained by showboating and being self righteous;. and
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, call upon all to join with us in voting out any politician who seeks to remake Oklahoma into the tiny town in Footloose; and
BE IT RESOLVED that we, the undersigned, humbly call upon El Chupacabra, slayer of goats and men, to have mercy on this nation, to stay his reptilian claw of judgment as we prepare for shearing season.
Signed on Friday the Twenty Sixth Day of of the Month of June in the year of our Lord, Two Thousand and Nine in the Common Era, Year of the Ox, 5th Lunar Month, Fourth day of Rajab, One Thousand Four Hundred Thirty.
Friday, June 26, 2009
Thursday, June 18, 2009
The real hope
I was never a big fan of the Obama campaign's invocation of hope. Like most people who have been involved in politics, I know that nothing good comes without a huge amount of hard work. I thought the emphasis on hope suggested that we would be able to wish our problems away, and I worried that it would set a lot of people up for disappointment when the pressures of governing washed away the idealistic rhetoric of the campaign. Now I think I understand a little better. The kind of hope that really can be the pivot for a movement is a bigger hope. Hope is the alternative to the anxiety and dispair that we have been fed since 2001. This bigger Hope is a basic sense of optomism and positivity, the idea that we don't need to buy the idea that we are under constant siege, from muslims and mexicans, from gays and schoolteachers and trade unions. It is the hope that we can begin to go forward together, that we don't have to sit tight and wait for the terror alert to go back down to mauve. It is the hope that normal people working cooperatively can solve even the biggest problems. Hope isn't an excuse to not do the hard work of change, it's the reason that we must do it.
Action Oklahoma is essentially a form of asymmetrical opposition to the conservative status quo in Oklahoma. Our success won't be measured in money raised or access to the levers of power. We seek to exert the same sort of cultural pressure that conservatism has in OKC by default. Success for us lies in making our case for reform and progress as visible and omnipresent as the voices raised in opposition to it. I have been hugely encouraged my our meetings so far, and I think we have a real shot at affecting actual change in this city and region. I think people are tired of being afraid.
Action Oklahoma is essentially a form of asymmetrical opposition to the conservative status quo in Oklahoma. Our success won't be measured in money raised or access to the levers of power. We seek to exert the same sort of cultural pressure that conservatism has in OKC by default. Success for us lies in making our case for reform and progress as visible and omnipresent as the voices raised in opposition to it. I have been hugely encouraged my our meetings so far, and I think we have a real shot at affecting actual change in this city and region. I think people are tired of being afraid.
Sunday, May 31, 2009
"Mistakes were made"
In my decidedly amateur efforts to get this project off the ground, I've been reading a lot about other lefty organizations, past and present. I'm certainly interested in their successes, which cannot be understated, but I find myself especially fascinated by their failures. I think it's extremely important for us to learn the lessons of the past and try new things, instead of replaying the same script over and over again. I've identified a few pitfalls that I think we all need to try consciously to avoid. Here are my top five.
1. Lack of organization
We on the left have a healthy distrust of hierarchy and authority. This is a good thing, but it can make for an inefficient operation. Action Oklahoma will never have "officers" or any such silliness, but a spirit of coordination and cooperation is going to be essential to actually achieving any of our ends. Each of us will have to be accountable to everyone else. That is the only way that we can hope to draft and enact a coherent program and not spin off in a million different directions.
2. Inaction
We have to actually do stuff. Plenty of organizations are born with grand ambitions but never manage to accomplish much of anything. This is why we insist on local issues and concrete actions...they are easier to accomplish. We have to demonstrate to the community that we aren't paper tigers who just like to hear ourselves talk, but that we have bigger ideas. I think a lot of politicians get elected primarily because they seem to know what they're doing, and most people care more about competence than ideology. If we can show the people of this city and state that we are just as capable of getting things done as the frumpy conservatives they're used to, that gets us a lot closer to the finish line.
3. Factionalism
We are all pretty much on the same page right now, but if we experience any sort of growth we can expect a greater diversity of political opinions in our little group. This is healthy. Ideological purges and crusades do more to destroy political organizations than anything else, and we have to avoid them at all cost. The best way to do this in my estimation is simply to make sure that everyone is heard. The truest indicator of real democracy is the respect for and protection of minority opinion. This is where the tightrope walk comes in; how do you stay focused and keep from trying to be all things to all people? I'm not sure yet, but I think it can be done.
4. The Paradox of Success
What if we got everything we're campaigning for tomorrow? This seems like a good thing, right? It is, with one caveat. If we put all of our energy into one or two things and then get what we're after, the natural instinct will be to take a break or stop altogether. Remember the Save the Gold Dome campaign? What if after they saved the dome they had taken that energy and momentum and put it towards saving other historic buildings? They would probably still be around. We need to have a broad enough program that we can take the momentum generated from any potential big win and direct that same energy into something else.
5. Elitism
We're gonna run into a lot of opposition. This is a given. Promoting these ideas in a place like Oklahoma probably seems incredibly quixotic to people elsewhere, and will probably seem so to us at times. Nevertheless we must avoid at all costs becoming bitter and insular. We are doing this for all of the people of Oklahoma, not just the ones who agree with us. We have to be willing to talk to and engage with everyone, no matter how strongly we disagree with them. Otherwise, we are ceding a lot of ground to the conservative status quo without a fight. It is also worth noting that we won't get anywhere with anyone by being condescending and hostile. If you think you can't do that, you should probably leave the door to door stuff to someone else.
If we stay positive and keep our shit together, we can do this! I'm serious.
-colin
1. Lack of organization
We on the left have a healthy distrust of hierarchy and authority. This is a good thing, but it can make for an inefficient operation. Action Oklahoma will never have "officers" or any such silliness, but a spirit of coordination and cooperation is going to be essential to actually achieving any of our ends. Each of us will have to be accountable to everyone else. That is the only way that we can hope to draft and enact a coherent program and not spin off in a million different directions.
2. Inaction
We have to actually do stuff. Plenty of organizations are born with grand ambitions but never manage to accomplish much of anything. This is why we insist on local issues and concrete actions...they are easier to accomplish. We have to demonstrate to the community that we aren't paper tigers who just like to hear ourselves talk, but that we have bigger ideas. I think a lot of politicians get elected primarily because they seem to know what they're doing, and most people care more about competence than ideology. If we can show the people of this city and state that we are just as capable of getting things done as the frumpy conservatives they're used to, that gets us a lot closer to the finish line.
3. Factionalism
We are all pretty much on the same page right now, but if we experience any sort of growth we can expect a greater diversity of political opinions in our little group. This is healthy. Ideological purges and crusades do more to destroy political organizations than anything else, and we have to avoid them at all cost. The best way to do this in my estimation is simply to make sure that everyone is heard. The truest indicator of real democracy is the respect for and protection of minority opinion. This is where the tightrope walk comes in; how do you stay focused and keep from trying to be all things to all people? I'm not sure yet, but I think it can be done.
4. The Paradox of Success
What if we got everything we're campaigning for tomorrow? This seems like a good thing, right? It is, with one caveat. If we put all of our energy into one or two things and then get what we're after, the natural instinct will be to take a break or stop altogether. Remember the Save the Gold Dome campaign? What if after they saved the dome they had taken that energy and momentum and put it towards saving other historic buildings? They would probably still be around. We need to have a broad enough program that we can take the momentum generated from any potential big win and direct that same energy into something else.
5. Elitism
We're gonna run into a lot of opposition. This is a given. Promoting these ideas in a place like Oklahoma probably seems incredibly quixotic to people elsewhere, and will probably seem so to us at times. Nevertheless we must avoid at all costs becoming bitter and insular. We are doing this for all of the people of Oklahoma, not just the ones who agree with us. We have to be willing to talk to and engage with everyone, no matter how strongly we disagree with them. Otherwise, we are ceding a lot of ground to the conservative status quo without a fight. It is also worth noting that we won't get anywhere with anyone by being condescending and hostile. If you think you can't do that, you should probably leave the door to door stuff to someone else.
If we stay positive and keep our shit together, we can do this! I'm serious.
-colin
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Getting pissed off isn't enough
I know that you guys have, like me, been watching some of the absurd nonsense coming out of the state capitol in the last few weeks. The most depressing thing about it to me is that there doesn't seem to be an organized opposition to the conservative silliness in which we are currently immersed. There is plenty of unfocused rage to go around, but I think our teabagging friends on the other side are all the evidence that we need that just getting angry doesn't accomplish much. I think it's time for some real, coordinated, progressive direct action in the OKC community. I'm not talking about standing outside with signs. I'm tired of marching. We can be ignored in the comfort of our own homes. Myself and a couple friends have brainstormed a few concrete actions we can take to help the community and promote our views, including:
*Distributing leaflets in English and Spanish about how to protect your rights when dealing with cops and immigration authorities to local libraries and community centers.
*Celebrating a Sally Kern Day on the birthday of noted bigot/state rep/crazy person Sally Kern on which we promote and patronize GLBT owned and friendly businesses. This is good because it would serve the dual purposes of showing support and solidarity for the local GLBT community and annoying/pressuring Kern, which just makes me smile.
*Establishing more community gardens and educating the community about the benefits of growing our own food.
*Establishing free or very cheap Spanish classes open to the general public.
*Running youth candidates in local elections and promoting real progressive politicians and legislation...I also want to study the initiative process so we can see about getting some progressive and common sense issues on the ballot, including raising the minimum wage and decoupling education funds from property taxes.
and about a dozen other ideas which escape me right now...this is a good start but we need more, and that's why I'm inviting you to join Action Oklahoma (A OK, get it? I know it's cheesy, but that's part of the magic.) We need as many ideas as we can get, but we are looking for LOCAL, CONSTRUCTIVE ideas. Here's what we mean by that:
1. Local- Issues that exist IN OUR COMMUNITY. I don't want to Bike for Darfur or legalize pot. I just think that by limiting our focus to things we can actually do something about, we will make a bigger impact. Having a global perspective is good, but find a way to tie it in to something affecting the central Oklahoma community.
2. Constructive- I don't want us to be the Anti Everything brigade. We all have plenty of reasons to be righteously indignant, but positive, constructive actions are almost always more effective at making our case than empty protest. How many more papier mache puppets and street theater productions would it have taken to prevent the Iraq war? A million? A billion? We aren't going to waste our time trying to persuade the powers that be with protest actions that they will cheerfully ignore. Our target audience isn't the politicians at the capitol, it's our families and neighbors. The people of Oklahoma are decent people who respect good works and good ideas. To win them over, we need to stop pointing at the terrible things other people are doing and start pointing at the positive things we're doing.
We need everyone for this; people who can make copies, people who can post them, people who can write, people who can draw, people with cameras, people who are persuasive, people who know about marketing or public relations, people who know about business, people who know their history and people who know their science, people who play music. All we want from you is anything you can do to help.
I think that getting a bunch of smart, capable people in the same room is the first step towards making a real change for the better in our community.
Colin
*Distributing leaflets in English and Spanish about how to protect your rights when dealing with cops and immigration authorities to local libraries and community centers.
*Celebrating a Sally Kern Day on the birthday of noted bigot/state rep/crazy person Sally Kern on which we promote and patronize GLBT owned and friendly businesses. This is good because it would serve the dual purposes of showing support and solidarity for the local GLBT community and annoying/pressuring Kern, which just makes me smile.
*Establishing more community gardens and educating the community about the benefits of growing our own food.
*Establishing free or very cheap Spanish classes open to the general public.
*Running youth candidates in local elections and promoting real progressive politicians and legislation...I also want to study the initiative process so we can see about getting some progressive and common sense issues on the ballot, including raising the minimum wage and decoupling education funds from property taxes.
and about a dozen other ideas which escape me right now...this is a good start but we need more, and that's why I'm inviting you to join Action Oklahoma (A OK, get it? I know it's cheesy, but that's part of the magic.) We need as many ideas as we can get, but we are looking for LOCAL, CONSTRUCTIVE ideas. Here's what we mean by that:
1. Local- Issues that exist IN OUR COMMUNITY. I don't want to Bike for Darfur or legalize pot. I just think that by limiting our focus to things we can actually do something about, we will make a bigger impact. Having a global perspective is good, but find a way to tie it in to something affecting the central Oklahoma community.
2. Constructive- I don't want us to be the Anti Everything brigade. We all have plenty of reasons to be righteously indignant, but positive, constructive actions are almost always more effective at making our case than empty protest. How many more papier mache puppets and street theater productions would it have taken to prevent the Iraq war? A million? A billion? We aren't going to waste our time trying to persuade the powers that be with protest actions that they will cheerfully ignore. Our target audience isn't the politicians at the capitol, it's our families and neighbors. The people of Oklahoma are decent people who respect good works and good ideas. To win them over, we need to stop pointing at the terrible things other people are doing and start pointing at the positive things we're doing.
We need everyone for this; people who can make copies, people who can post them, people who can write, people who can draw, people with cameras, people who are persuasive, people who know about marketing or public relations, people who know about business, people who know their history and people who know their science, people who play music. All we want from you is anything you can do to help.
I think that getting a bunch of smart, capable people in the same room is the first step towards making a real change for the better in our community.
Colin
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